dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
