We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
