Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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