Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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