i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
