Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
