he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
