I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
