i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
