can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
