i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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