Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
