Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize