Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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