1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
