NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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