found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
