So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
