Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
