Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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