Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
