Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
