4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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