I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
