He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
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Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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