I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
