i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize