Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
