i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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