youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
