you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
