Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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