so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We are all done wearing pants today
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
