What did we do last night that was yellow?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
