yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
