I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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