True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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