Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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