I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
