If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
