I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
