yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
