it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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