I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
