you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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