eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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