You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
