ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
