One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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