you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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