Where did you get a picture of my penis
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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