So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
