The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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