Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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