Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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