we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
