I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
