Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
