Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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