She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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