I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
