Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
