who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
